The world is yours for the taking!

Too many people get into the mindset that life is against them, “woe is me they think, why does everything bad always happen to me?” And guess what, they are right, everything bad does happen to them because they allow it in their lives. Its crazy how negative some people are, and then they get upset when bad shit happens. Its like well no wonder, your thinking is garbage, and you have created all of it… Whether you are conscious of it or not. Everything that is happening in your life, is a direct reflection of your thinking about it.

What you think about you become. How you think of yourself, is who you will become. If you think of yourself as a worthless, unloveable, and an undeserving human being, then guess what, thats what you will experience. You have to think highly of yourself, you have to learn how to love yourself… I believe that self-love is the best things you can do for yourself!

Read: Why you need to believe in yourself

This isnt some hippie dippie stuff here, this has been proven fact by the leading scientists of the day, they are all convinced that our thoughts create our reality.

I used to think no, thats not true because my life was clearly not something I had created. My life was a mess!! An utter disater even. There was no way I had created this mess… But it soon dawned on me that I truly had, and I started to work on my thoughts after years of being a negative nancy…

But that was back then, and this is now. A few years after I started to really research this whole theory that our thoughts create our reality. I knew deep down it was true, but it took a significant amount of proof to convince my conscious mind of this, leading me to many years of difficulty manifesting what I wanted because I didnt understand how it was possible. I simply put just didnt beleive 100%…

Now today I truly believe that yes my thoughts do create my reality. Its kinda spooky because I realize that I created my current life situation, and I created it for a very specific reason not always known to my conscious mind.

My soul has an agenda of its own that I don’t fully understand, but when things happen that seemingly look really bad, they end up always turning out for the better in the end. Everything works out, and I have been trying very hard lately to allow my soul to lead me in all areas of life because I know it will lead me to greatness, and I ask that my conscious mind stays out of the way while my soul gets to work.

It is time now for humanity to do great things, we have always known that this was our destiny. We have been preparing for this for lifetimes. It’s time.

It’s time to change the world. Its now time to go out and share what you know with the world to make it a better place for every living being! The internet is our key to this, we have never been more connected in all of history as we are now. Networking will become more and more important but isn’t necessary right now. Just keep moving forward every day and becoming better. That’s all you need to worry about right now: Your own self-growth.

“I cant change the world, but I can change mine.”  

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Don’t get distracted by the distractions in life. Keep your focus steady on the future you want to see for yourself. Don’t let doubt prevent you from creating your ideal life.  Thoughts create it, after all, the bigger the thoughts the greater the outcome! There is no dream too big. Dream away young one, you have a long life to live full of joy, happiness, wonder, and awe.

This is your world, you can have be or do ANYTHING you want! Anything at all! Dream big and let your heart guide you. It knows what you want more than you can understand, so listen to it.

The world is yours. Go and get it! Live the life you know you are here to live and do not settle for anything less!

With Love and Light
Lindzay


Other posts you might enjoy:

How to overcome Self-doubt

8 steps to living a better life

All it takes is one moment to change your life

My intentions for 2018

It seems like setting new years resolutions has gotten a bad reputation over the years. Nobody wants to make them anymore because we know that more often than not, January 2nd rolls around, and we have already broken our resolution. So we give up before the first week has passed.

I have a better way to go about it, that for one, takes all the initial pressure off of January 1st as being the day where major life changes happen, and instead we all should make intentions on what we would like to accomplish at some point during the new year. The intentions you set do not need to be started on the first day of the new year, heck they don’t even need to be started in the first month. Heck you could wait until the very last month of the year, and still accomplish the intention you set for yourself back in January, although I do not recommend this, and you should keep your awareness on your primary intentions as often as possible if you want to accomplish them at least.

For example, in my post:   2017: Year in Review

I went back and noticed my new years resolutions for 2017. Some of them I did complete, such as become vegetarian, although it wasn’t on January 1st like you would expect. In fact, it wasn’t until August that I finally took that plunge and quit eating meat.

You can read more about that experience here: My thoughts on Veganism

But with 2018  approaching, I can’t help but set some new goals, or intentions for myself. I LOVE goal setting and amplifying my life. Writing a list has been the only way I’ve been able to get things accomplished, and if you know my story, I have come a very far way in a few short years.

2018 is going to be the year though, I see great changes coming to not only my own life but anyone who is on a similar path as I am. This is the path I would call Self Discovery, and its such a phenomenal one to be on!

You can read more about my self-discovery journey here: The Journey to Self-Discovery

My intentions for 2018 are:

  1. Reach ideal body once and for all. (This has been a journey for the past 4 years, its time to finally finish the race, my beliefs are finally in line so it shouldn’t be too hard at this point. Before I honestly didn’t believe I could lose weight…)
  2. Get my finances in order. (Again money seems to always elude me, my beliefs regarding money have been getting in the way, but this year I plan to rewire my mind and finally get my finances in order)
  3. Become a vegan. (I am now mostly vegetarian, and I say mostly because I haven’t been able to cut out meat 100% yet and I won’t lie about that. However, being vegetarian for the past 5 months, I have seen so many incredible health benefits, mainly weight loss, and more energy, so I really do intend to make the full vegan switch come 2018. What month I will do it in, I have no idea, but its happening in 2018 for sure.)
  4. Write my truth. (This one is part of my purpose, its why I am here, to share with the world what I know. The way in which I have come to understand life, and humanity. This will be done through this blog, as well as I am currently writing a book entitled: I am Human. Which is my personal perspective of what the hell is going on here, and the story of my life as a human.)
  5. Travel. (Of course if you know me at all, this whole blog is regarding my experiences and travel adventures, so naturally yes I want to travel. My dream is to one day be financially free to the point where I can just go all over the world staying and living in many different countries and cultures in order to learn more about life, humanity, and the earth. Of course, travelling will also help me write my book too!)
  6. Help others. (I know this is kinda a cliche thing to put down as an intention, but at the same time, it needs to be. So easily we forget that one of our main purposes here on Earth is to learn to care for others. We live in a very self-centered, me first society, and I know that if I can help others, it will make the world a brighter place. Maybe I will do some volunteer work, rescue an animal, or teach children. Who knows where the universe will take me!)

So there we have it, folks! My 2018 intentions. I look to the new year with anticipation and excitement! I cannot wait to see how it turns out because if it is anything like 2017 was, I have no idea whats going to happen. Nothing happened the way I planned it to go last year, and I suspect this year coming will be no different.

We must remember that change is inevitable, nothing stays the same forever.

We must learn to embrace change and go with the flow. The universe is waiting for us to just let go and enjoy the wild ride of life!

Go now and make your own intentions for 2018 and leave them in the comments below if you are willing!

Happy New year!

Lindzay



Other posts you might enjoy:

All it takes is one moment to change your life

8 steps to living a better life

How to overcome Self-doubt

Who am I really?

Its been a few months now since I returned from my Revelstoke Adventure, and it has been a time in which my spiritual growth has accelerated greatly. It seems I am waking up at a faster rate than I had in the past, and with any spiritual awakening, you begin to question, well who am I?

The person I thought I was this entire life so far is not actually who I am. Not in the same sense after you experience an awakening anyways. You begin to question everything you once thought you were and what you arent.

I have realized that I am not my name, my age, or the country I live in. I am not even my thoughts, those are just a by-product of my experience. I am, and always have been, the observer of my life. I am the pure/ conscious awareness, the overlooker of my life.

I am eternal, I have lived many lifetimes in the past, and I will have many more lifetimes in the future. I believe reincarnation to be the truth, and I will likely write a post on that someday soon.

My blog has now taken a new shift, and instead of just writing about all the life experiences and adventures I go on, which I will still do, but I will also write about the journey my soul is on, and it has experienced quite a lot in the past few months alone. I just wasn’t necessarily ready to write about it yet. But I think now is the time.

I will talk about matters I find of interest. Specifically the existence of Extraterrestrial life, and why I believe they are here to help humanity.

I will also write about the origin of humanity the way I have come to understand it. I am not a scientific person or mathematical for that matter, so when I write I don’t use that type of language, but I write in a way I hope anyone can understand.

It is my purpose during this lifetime to help humanity wake up and realize who they are. We have been kept in the dark for many, many years now to our origins, and its finally time to remember. Great changes are on the horizon for humanity! The future looks very bright!



When I was a small girl, I felt very different from everyone around me, it felt like I knew something they didn’t. Everyone seemed so confused, unconscious, and what was worse, they didnt want to seem to expand their awareness, they were quite happy living in this tiny box reality. I, on the other hand, was a dreamer, I thought big thoughts. In fact, I often thought that I was here to change the world. I had this intuitive knowing that I was here for a reason, I would make a difference on Earth.

But then I thought everyone must feel that same way.

It wasn’t until I got older, in my mid-twenties that I began to realize that not a single person agreed with me on that. When opening up to someone and telling them that I believed I was here to change the world, I was met with a confused look, as though I had 7 heads or something. Sure saying you will change the world is a pretty bold statement, but it’s usually those people that end up doing it.

I began to think, well maybe I am alone in this? Maybe I am the only one who is wanting to change the world. But once I again I was wrong on this assumption. I was far from alone, and in fact, there were millions of others just like me who felt like aliens on this planet. We had no idea why we were here, but we just felt different, but we couldn’t explain that to anyone for fear of judgment and ridicule. We stayed in the silence for far too long, and finally, the day has come where we can speak our truth to humanity!

It’s time.

If you were waiting for a sign to go out and live your own truth, this is it. Stop worrying about what others might think, humanity and our earth needs you!

-Lindzay
“I am who I am, your approval is not needed” 

 

Other posts:

My Spiritual Journey

The Journey to Self-Discovery

 

The Journey to Self-Discovery

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When I wrote Why getting to know yourself is so important in life I feel now looking back, that I was just putting my toes in this big ocean of knowledge that resides in me. Now a few months later, I realize how deep this ocean goes, and it’s mind-boggling. Its absolutely unreal what we are, and what we are capable of. I feel like a giddy school girl who has just discovered the big secret of life, and I want to tell everyone about it!

Three years ago I started this journey of self-discovery at first very unknowingly. I just all of a sudden started to care about my self more and became curious about everything relating to self, who was I, what was this reality I was experiencing, why was I here? Were all some of the questions I began to wonder. I have now been on this journey for a little over 3 years, and what an experience it has been. So much of an experience I have decided to write a book about it!!

This is a journey I truly believe everyone needs to go on in life. Its something you can start right here right now, just by simply saying “from here on out, I will make a greater effort in getting to know myself a little bit more each day.” Even if you only find out that you don’t like a certain color one day,  the process can seem very slow at times, and other times the process will feel like its only speeding up more and you can’t slow it down, and those times can be a bit crazy because you are realizing so much about yourself in a very short period of time, and you are changing a lot every day so it can be hard to keep up and quite overwhelming.

But its all part of the journey. Everyone’s journey will be different. For some, it will be quick, and others it will take longer, but it doesn’t matter how long it takes, what matters is you begin. Take the first step, tell yourself right now that you are going to make more of an effort from this day forward towards the discovery of yourself.

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It is the greatest journey you’ll ever go on, it’s truly an incredible ride that makes your life wonderfully beautiful and rich with meaning and fulfillment.  The journey of self-discovery will be the most important things you do here on Earth, we must realize in human form who we are, and what we are capable of. That light inside us wants us to realize its there, it’s waiting for us to remember it so he can guide us to live the life of our dreams.

All the richest of the world won’t bring you as much happiness, peace, and fulfillment as self-discovery will. Its something the rich can’t buy and the poor can’t lose. It stays with you forever if you take the time to do it, and its the best thing you will ever spend your time on, the payoff will be tremendous!

I am not sure now, if there will ever come a time when I come to the end of my journey, it’s not something that you can really see the finish line on, because even once you feel like you know everything there is to know about yourself, you’ll discover something else, and the journey continues. If you are in a hurry or want results instantly, you should instead start with learning the art patience, because self-discovery is a lifelong process, you don’t merely wake up one day and know who and what you are. If it were that simple, then everyone on planet earth would be living to their fullest potential, which we all know isn’t the case.

The world is a bit of a mess right now, but that doesn’t mean things are not happening. Behind the scenes, millions of people are on the journey of self-discovery already, and are remembering who they are. This is an extraordinary time in human history because humans are becoming more conscious, we are rising from the slumber we have been enduring for many ages, but those times are over and humanity is waking up. Humanity is going to accomplish great things in the next years, and if you don’t want to miss out, I suggest hopping on the self-discovery train as soon as possible!

Unfortunately, though, a lot of people won’t ever take the first step on the path of self discovery, and its very unfortunate that they dont, but they get caught up in their version of reality and dont ever take the time to do this. When I asked people I know how much time people put into self discovery, I was suprised to be met by blank stares, unsure of what I meant.

“You know… Like how much time do you take each day to get to know yourself? Self-reflection, reading, writing, learning about who you are, that type of thing?’

Still nothing. This surprised me greatly since I truly believe this is one of the best journeys one can and should ever go on in life. But I realize that I am only concerned over my own actions, and I can force someone else to do this. I can just share my own experience and hope that someone else might resonate with it, and use their own decision making process to determine that this is something they would like to do.

I truly believe that to change the world, it begins with ourselves. We must learn about who we are, and what we are capable of, and above all us, we must learn to love ourselves like nothing else.

Below I have an entry I wrote in my journal that I would like to share with you.



October 20th, 2017

I am so tired of this whole idea that we as humans have limits. We come to earth and in the human body, and we experience limitations from the very start. Mainly with our minds, which controls most everything else we do. We feel our minds are limited and we never bother to learn how they work, or how one could improve it. We actually poison it half the time with alcohol and drugs, not to mention some of the foods we eat. It’s absolutely insane how little credit or care we give to our brains/minds when they are the most incredible instrument in the universe that science has so far discovered. 

If you only knew what your brain was capable of, you would never even think of harming it again. When you start learning about the self, it will become your one and only desire, to learn more and more about yourself, how the mind works, and the power of thought. These subjects will become fascinating to you because your brain is now eager to learn all about what it can do, like an excited child in first grade ready to learn. When you shift your awareness onto your mind and improving it, the mind will flourish and wonderful things will begin to happen. 

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I was writing about the mind because I believe it is a big part of the self. If we can put our awareness on ourselves instead of on Facebook, or what someone else is doing, or on the television, your mind literally lights up like an excited child who wants to learn everything he can. Your brain will turn into a sponge, learning all the information it needs to achieve the goal you have given it, which is that you want to learn as much as you can regarding yourself.

You know deep inside that you are here for far greater things than what you have been programmed since childhood to believe. You are full of potential, and it breaks my heart when people think of themselves as just a useless human being not capable of anything, because I know how amazing human beings are, and now we are living in a very special time for the planet where we are becoming more and more conscious of who we are, which means that there will be tremendous changes in the next years, we have no idea what wonderful things will be created by people just like you who have realized who they are. Times are changing, and we have all the information we could ever dream of right at our fingertips, its time to remember who you are, and what you are here for.


Below are important tips I have found useful during my journey to self-discovery, remember to keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different, but we are all human beings, and we tend to all have very similar thoughts towards the unknown.

  1. Embrace change and the unknown. Life is many different cycles, some are big and some are small. Like the seasons changing, your life will also change and you need to be willing to embrace that change because forcing something to stay the same has never worked for very long. If you can understand that life is always changing, you will be better willing to accept that you are also changing. There is no rulebook stating that you need to remain the person you are right now reading this, you can and should strive to improve yourself.
  2. Stay in the present as much as you can because that is all there is. I know this one is very hard to grasp for most people. It was a process for myself to stop thinking about the past, and worrying about the future and I do sometimes have to catch myself and think just be right here in this moment. If you can learn to just trust the quiet voice inside to guide your life, you will be surprised by how well your life turns out without you even trying, or thinking about it. Your intuition knows what is best and wants to guide you to a wonderful life, but you need to listen to it. So be present in the moment, quiet your thoughts and listen to what it tells you. This will take time, meditation helps greatly, but just know that this won’t happen in a single day.
  3. Love yourself. I can’t stress this one enough because it is so profoundly important for you to do. I remember when I first started my journey, and I kept seeing that sentence everywhere I turned, “love yourself.” I remember not knowing why that would be such an important aspect, but now that I actually can honestly say I love myself, I feel like I have so much more belief in myself than ever before, which of course allows me to succeed at everything I want to achieve in life. If I didn’t love myself, there would be no way I could do some of the things I do now, simply because I wouldn’t believe in myself.

With that being said, there are so many different ideas you will come across along your journey, and this is just a few tips I have found that has helped me. Writing has definitely helped me to learn more about self, but do what works for you!

Thanks for reading, I hope you can take something away from this post and use it to improve your life 🙂

With Love and Light
Lindzay

Here are a few other posts you might enjoy reading!

My Spiritual Journey

Why you need to believe in yourself

How to overcome and grow from adversity

All it takes is one moment to change your life

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My experience losing someone close

My life is a roller coaster of crazy events, I have probably experienced more than the average person has, and I am not even 30 yet. I think I have gone through enough tragedy now to last a lifetime, but I am sure I will experience more. I also spend a lot of time alone, now and when I was younger, so I self-reflect a lot… Doing so has taught me a lot about myself, who I am and where I am going. I also think a lot about the past, and what I have learned through my experiences, why they happened, and who I became because of it. I know now that with every up, and every down I experience, I learn a lot of valuable lessons. I look towards bad stuff happening to me with open arms knowing that I will learn greatly from the experience.

From my experience, I don’t think that many people view the world the same way as I do. When bad things happen, they seem to go into this deep pit of despair and it becomes hard for them to get out. It seems like more and more people are starting to realize that stuff happens for a reason, and its how you handle the tough times that makes you who you are. For me however, when bad things happen I try to see it in a positive light and see how I could grow from the experience.

Growing up I felt like I was an old person, stuck in a kids body. I loved to talk and get to know the seniors, even though most adults would try to avoid them. I on the other hand latched on to them hoping they would pass down their wisdom and experiences with me. I knew that I could learn valuable lessons from them. I felt wise beyond my years, but it also didn’t make sense, because I was only about 7 years old. I guess the term for that now is called an old soul, but heck if I understood that when I was a child, I just thought I was really weird, which also made it very difficult for me to make friends growing up.

I am going to take you back now to when I was a child, and I will let you into one of the worst experiences I had growing up, what I learnt from it, and what I could hopefully pass along to others. To me this was one of the most defining moments of my life, and while I have moved on from the events of this day, it still sticks with me and always will.

I should be open though and say, I am not writing this post to make you feel sorry for me. I am far beyond wanting sympathy for this. I simply feel the need to share my story, and hope that this might help someone out.

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When I was growing up, my mom was raising me as a single parent. So she sent me to stay with my grandparents quite often. The first 5 years of my life I probably spent more time at their place than I did with my own mother, which was fine because grandma and grandpa loved to spoil me. They also taught me a lot of life lessons, I knew how to cook pretty well before I turned the age of 6, and my grandpa always had a new skill to teach me.

Growing up I remember I just wanted to learn as much as I possibly could, I never wanted to become the “best” at something, but rather, I just wanted to become good at many many things, I knew early on that life was a wonderful experience, full of ups and downs as well as trials that one needs to overcome in life.  I also knew the importance of building strong relationships with people, which is why I think I worked a lot on this.

My grandma and I were two peas in a pod, we did everything together. I think she saw something special in me, which I wouldn’t realize or understand for years after ( I am still trying to understand it actually), but she saw it and wanted to take my hand and help me the best she knew how. My grandma and I did everything together, she took me to church (which was a Catholic church) where I would usually sit, extremely bored, not understanding anything that was said, but I also think its important for a child to be bored as I think it helps them use their imagination… Which I had a very active imagination, still do actually, guess the system didn’t work on me…

Anyways you get the point, my grandma was my best friend, as I really had not made many friends in school yet and the closest family member to my age was 5 years older than me.

Here are a few pictures of my grandma and I hanging out 🙂

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The day that my whole world flipped upside down, was December 5th, 1998, I was 7 years old the day it happened, the day that would define the rest of my life… I remember everything about that day, even though it took place almost 20 years ago.

It started out like any other weekend for me. I was sent to stay at my grandparent’s house like usual when my mom worked. This day, in particular, we were putting up the Christmas tree and all the decorations as it was into December now. Christmas had always been my favorite time of year as a young child, but all that was about to change.

My grandma wasn’t feeling herself that day, I could sense it right away when she opted out of a shopping trip because she felt tired. Grandma never missed a chance to get out of the house! But nobody seemed to raise any vocal concern, so we ignored the signs.

She decided to sit down on the couch and take a short nap, before making dinner for my grandpa and I. The TV was set to the channel 2, which back then was like a news network that wrote out the news on a blue screen so you could read it, but they also played music, which at this time of year was Christmas music.

It was just shortly after 4 when I realized she wasn’t breathing or moving at all. I could tell time as my grandpa had taught me that skill. I knew instantly what was happening, and I couldn’t endure even the thought of it, I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore like I was about to pass out. My chest had constricted in such a way, I had never felt before. So I quickly went to hide in my room, feeling my emotions getting the best of me, wanting to cry and scream so bad it hurt, but I can’t right now.

I felt paralyzed, and I was absolutely terrified to go tell my grandpa, praying that I had just imagined the whole thing. I cried silently in my room worried grandpa would hear me, before coming to the conclusion that this couldn’t be happening, maybe I was imagining this, maybe this is just a dream, and somehow I got the strength and courage that I needed to go back out there and deal with this head-on.

I went back out to the living room which was filled with Christmas decorations lying everywhere. I continued silently helping grandpa put ornaments on the tree. I didn’t say a single word, as I don’t think I could have in that moment. I am still shocked that he didn’t sense something was wrong with me, but I guess he was lost in his own world. Little did he know what was about to snap him back to reality.

After what seemed like hours, he finally decided to go wake her up so she could start making dinner since it was now nearing 5 o’clock. Realize though, that for about 45 minutes, I was stuck knowing what I knew, with no one to talk to, and I struggled very hard not to show my emotions. I was trying still to remain positive though, hoping beyond hope that I was wrong, and she was fine. After all, I was only 7, what did I know anyway?

So he called her name, and when she didn’t stir, he went over and gave her a little nudge, still nothing. I am standing there watching this unfold, praying that she would wake. He gave her a final shake before he realized she wasn’t going to wake up, he said, ‘I have to call 9-11’ and that is when my world fell apart.

-> When you lose someone, it feels like this part of you is being ripped out of you. It’s like this heart-wrenching feeling that takes the wind right out of you. You realize in that moment, that things will never be the same, and you feel no longer yourself, it’s almost like your sense of self-diminishes and it isn’t all about you anymore.
Time completely stands still, and you become extremely aware of the present moment cause that is all there is. All of your prior worries and concern seem to vanish as well, and anything you may have been thinking about is now gone. Nothing else matters but this moment right now.

I became quite hysterical at this point, for lack of a better way to describe it. I had been holding it back for so long, and now it seemed like I was accurate in my previous foresight despite praying that I was wrong. So I started just howling, and I mean that. Howling so loud that the 9-11 operator had to ask what that sound in the background was. My grandpa explained that it was his granddaughter who is crying very loudly, which normally would have embarrassed me, but this time I could care less. Like I said, nothing mattered in this moment.

My grandpa was a great man, but he lacked sympathy. When he got off the phone instead of trying to comfort me, he said, ‘we need to clean up before the paramedics arrive’. Like the mess really mattered in this moment. I tried to help him for a couple minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore and went to my room to be alone. I stayed in there and looked out the window and cried, and cried, and cried. the snow was falling, and before I knew it the fire trucks were outside my window. Through my tear-filled eyes, I just remember red lights of blur and snow coming down.

Even though I was only 7, I was extremely aware of what had happened. I knew exactly what was going on, My grandma has died and I would never see her again. It was plain and simple, but devastating like nothing else I had experienced so far in my 7-year journey.

I knew that this really sucked right now, but one day it would get better, I knew it would be hard for awhile, but eventually, I would smile again, one day I would be happy again. I would never see my grandma again in the physical world, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t remember her in my heart, and I also had a deep knowing that I would, in fact, meet her again one day.

It was a strange realization to go through, but once I did that everything was okay. I don’t know why, but living through that experience was the most life-changing event for me. I felt like, something was there helping me get through it. A calm and sturdy voice, that was gently guiding me through this traumatic night.

The voice said very clearly to me, ‘yes this is very hard right now, but one day it will be all be okay again, it will all make sense, and you will be stronger because of it.’

It sorta felt like I had my own guardian angel that was looking out for me, and teaching me about what I needed to learn from this life experience. We all have that inside of us, now I call it my intuition, but back then I just considered it my imaginary friend, and that night it helped me rise up to the occasion, maybe because I had let my mind go numb, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I didn’t want to think anymore, which is when it began speaking very clearly giving me instructions.


 

When the family started arriving one after another, it was very hard for me to watch in a way. I already went through that heart-wrenching experience, but to watch my loved ones go through it tore me apart even more. By this point, though I had cried all that I could, and there were no more tears left. So it became my duty now to help comfort the others. I felt it was my purpose that night to serve and help the others, it wasn’t just all about me anymore. I became more altruistic after this event, going on to winning awards for being a good samaritan!

My mom and I had talked briefly on the phone prior to her arrival, as she was at work quite a far distance away, and I didn’t want to worry her, so all I said was ‘There is something wrong with grandma and you should come over” I knew she had a long drive ahead and it was snowing heavily, so I chose my words carefully.

I remember my mom arriving finally, she walked into the house, saw her mother lying on the floor at this point, turning blue, and she turned around and walked outside onto the porch, and it became my sole mission to go outside and comfort her. At one point my mom joked through her tears and said, ‘it should be me comforting you, not the other way around.

But to me that didn’t matter, I hated attention anyway so I wasn’t looking for any, even in my darkest hour I just wanted to help.

There are many reasons I believe that God took her on that specific day with me being there and all, and I understand why it had to happen that way. I am not sure if I would have grown into the person I needed to become without going through that traumatic experience at such a young age.

The biggest lesson I have learned I guess from it would be not to take others for granted, their time here is temporary and we never know when they can be taken from us forever. To this day, it makes me really sad when I see someone not visiting an elder because they are “too busy.” Like I literally wish I could go and visit all the old people, but I just can’t do that… I wish we would just realize how limited our time is with them, and that there might not always be a tomorrow.

I learned that no matter how a person passes away, (my grandma died from a heart attack in case you were wondering) we will always find ways to blame ourselves, which I saw over and over that day. People saying “Oh I wish I had done this with them like we had talked about” Or “I wish I had visited more often” Or the worst one I heard “I wish I never got into that fight with her”

Some of this guilt is still with them almost 20 years later… Unfortunately, if you can’t learn to forgive yourself, it will loom over your head forever.

My grandma was my first but not last experience with death, and while I learned many life lessons on that frightful December day, I will never forget the impact this wonderful woman had in my life. I cherish the times we spent together, even though I only got 7 short years with her, only 3-4 of which I was even old enough to remember. I think about her all the time, and will never forget the impact she had on me.

 

Please do yourself a favor, and take this as an opportunity, to call your parents and tell them you love them, and go visit any older relatives you may have. You will regret not spending time with them once it is too late. Seriously do this though, right now! Don’t say you’ll do it tomorrow, it might be too late…

In loving memory of
Marge Heap 1926- 1998

Spring 2014 207.JPG

 

Here are some other posts:

The Journey to Self-Discovery

Why getting to know yourself is so important in life

How to avoid regrets on your deathbed

 

 

Welcome to the Adventures of Lindzay!

Welcome to the Adventures of Lindzay!

April 2nd, 2017

Well, here I am world! I have finally gotten over my fear of writing a blog and being vulnerable enough to open up and share some of my experiences with whoever decides to read…

I don’t really know why this has taken me so damn long to do. I have known that I wanted to start a blog now for years, and while I had tried once before, I just wasn’t ready I think. Part of me was too insecure and shy to share my experiences so anyone could read.

I love to write and have no trouble whatsoever writing in my journal, but this feels different to me. I may be the only one who feels this way about blogging, but to me, it just feels strange writing about your life and then allowing literally anyone to read it.

Like what if a boy I like finds this site, and reads it!!? Well, that is kinda awkward…
He would know so much about me and I wouldn’t know anything about him… but heavens I am getting sidetracked, ignore that last part.

I guess I have grown up enough, and I don’t care what others think of me anymore. This is what I want to do, and have wanted to do now for ages. So finally now is the time to start, better late then never I guess right!?

I mostly write about my experiences that I have encountered during my 26 years on this beautiful planet, and quite honestly, my journey is only just the beginning! I have so much more planned in the coming years that this blog will be my main tool for keeping tabs on myself.

It is still the beginning of my blog, but I do have a vision for it! This is something I have always wanted to do, sharing my story has been on my mind for awhile now, and I have even written my life story in the form of a book, but for now, I think I will focus on writing my experiences and lessons learned from them.

Anyways! I won’t keep rambling on this page much longer, but here are some of my posts you might find interesting! Hope you have a lovely day and welcome to my blog 😀

My thoughts on Veganism

The Journey to Self-Discovery

My experience dealing with depression

My experience losing someone close to me

My experience living in Vancouver